There's one on Komodo at the moment which is over twelve feet long and stands about a yard high, which you can't help but feel is entirely the wrong size for a lizard to be, particularly if it's a man eater and you're about to go share an island with it.
~~~Last Chance to See

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Did I do something wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?"
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"This must be Thursday," said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. "I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"This is terrific," Arthur thought to himself, "Nelson's Column has gone, McDonald's has gone, all that's left is me and the words Mostly harmless. Any second now all that will be left is Mostly harmless. And yesterday the planet seemed to be going so well."
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Funny," he intoned funereally, "how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Oh God," muttered Ford, slumped against a bulkhead. He started to count to ten. He was desperately worried that one day sentient life forms would forget how to do this. Only by counting could humans demonstrate their independence of computers.
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying Blood...blood...blood...blood...
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"You know," said Arthur thoughtfully, "all this explains a lot of things. All my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was."
"No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that."
~~~The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another which states that this has already happened.
~~~The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
~~~The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Another favorite song was much shorter:
I teleported home one night
With Ron and Sid and Meg.
Ron stole Meggie's heart away
And I got Sidney's leg.
~~~The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

"The Guide says there is an art to flying," said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
~~~Life, the Universe and Everything

Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position.
~~~Life, the Universe, and Everything

Suddenly Arthur remembered that the Earth was going to be demolished again in two days time, and just this once didn't feel too bad about it.
~~~Life, the Universe and Everything

"My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber," he muttered to himself, "and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
~~~Life, the Universe and Everything

On the way back they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms.
~~~Life, the Universe and Everything

....The latest one was a lullaby.
Marvin droned,
Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see by infrared,
How I hate the night.
He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.
~~~Life, the Universe and Everything

And as he drove on, the rain clouds dragged down the sky after him for, though he did not know it, Rob McKenna was a Rain God. All he knew was that his working days were miserable and he had a succession of lousy holidays. All the clouds knew was that they loved him and wanted to be near him, to cherish him and to water him.
~~~So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

"It seemed to me," said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost it's head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane."
~~~So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Douglas Adams Richard Adams Richard Bach Peter S. Beagle Victor Hugo Philip Pullman J. K. Rowling Bram Stoker Tom Stoppard

Russian writers Mikhail Bulgakov Venedikt Erofeev Vladimir Nabokov Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoi Mikhail Zoschenko Russian proverbs Miscellany A-C Anonymous/Unknown Aesop Margaret Atwood Natalie Babbitt Dan Brown Hugh Brown Shu Bill Bryson Anthony Burgess Michael Chabon Robert Cormier Sharon Creech

Miscellany D-E Avram Davidson Charles Dickens Steven Dietz George Eastman Umberto Eco Albert Einstein Ralph Waldo Emerson Michael Ende Juliana Ewing Miscellany F-K John Fowles Neil Gaiman Parke Godwin James Goldman William Goldman Simon R. Green The Brothers Grimm Ursula Hegi Aldous Huxley Helen Keller

Miscellany L-T Robert Lasner John Le Carre Nathaniel Lee Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont C. S. Lewis Mary Little David Mamet Merrill Markoe A. A. Milne Jean Baptiste Moliere Garth Nix Edgar Allan Poe Anne Rice Francois de la Rochefoucald Arthur Schopenhauer Lemony Snicket Henry David Thoreau Mark Twain

Miscellany U-Z Voltaire Edith Wharton Oscar Wilde Tennessee Williams Budge Wilson Tom Wolfe Personal Quotebook

Email Me